Dave and I met in a bar in November of 1991. We played a few games of pool, talked about ourselves, and went our separate ways...not even exchanging phone numbers. I kept thinking about him though and decided to try to find him in the phonebook. I knew his name and I knew he lived in the small town of Sherrill, IA. There were about 13 possible listings. I also knew he worked days so I made sure I'd actually be calling when I knew he wouldn't be home. I found the right number after only a couple tries and left a message with his mom to "call Amanda" when he got home. I figured if he wasn't interested he just wouldn't call back. He called back that night. I later found out that he had gone back to the bar where we had met the very next night, hoping I would be there again. And I actually would have been, hoping he'd be there, if it hadn't snowed like crazy that night.
We began seeing each other as often as possible. We both worked and Dave had a 2 year old son, so it wasn't as often as we'd have liked. I met Dave's son Adam that December. You can see some pictures of him right Here! He was a chubby little redhead just shy of his 3rd birthday. Dave is not a weekend dad, which impressed me quite a bit. I had never met a man who had custody of his child. At the time I was living with my Dad and had two young siblings. So Dave and Adam would come over and Adam would have a great time playing with my brother Ryan and my sister Reva. Although he did catch the chicken pox from them! When Dave and Adam would be getting ready to come over for a visit, Adam would say that they were going to see "our girlfriend".
We eventually decided to move in together and did so in May of 1992. We had some major growing pains then. By then we were 20 and 23, and OH so wise in our own minds. The adjustment was not easy, especially with Adam. He had lived with his dad, grandma, grandpa, and two uncles for as long as he could remember. We tried to do it gradually...I have no idea if that made it easier or more difficult for him. It was quite a stressful time so, in the midst of all that...
We decided we should get married! We were just talking about it one night and got it into our heads we should just go ahead and do it. That was a Tuesday. We made plans to do it that very Friday. We weren't going to tell a single soul until afterwards but I happened to be watching my cousin Dawn the next night and when my aunt Lolly came to pick her up I just blurted it out. I had to tell someone! She convinced me my mom would be heart-broken if I didn't tell her so she could be there. And so I did. My mom, my aunt Lolly, and my aunt Sandy managed to arrange for a cake, some flowers, and a tiny little get-together in a few days. I thank God they did. Dave and I were married by a JP at the Dubuque County Courthouse on July 17, 1992. My mom, aunts, grandma, and two friends were there with us. I still sometimes regret not having a big, fancy church wedding, but we were young, foolish, and in a huge rush. We had known eachother about 8 months when we were married. I'm sure many people thought it wouldn't last OR that I was pregnant and just wasn't telling yet. HAH...showed them! We told Dave's family just after we got home from the courthouse. In hindsight I can imagine what they were thinking...and rightfully. Simply that we had completely lost our minds.
Dave and I have been through MANY ups and downs. Approximately a month after we were married Adam's mother sued Dave for custody of Adam. Dave did retain custody but that was a major strain, emotionally and financially. I had no clue what I was getting myself into at the time. You would not believe the complexities of being a new stepmother and having new in-laws and also having this, sort of, extended family thing on Adam's maternal side. There are many issues unique to Adam's story but that's just what it is...Adam's story. Writing about it here would be an invasion of the privacy of MANY people. So, even though it's a major part of "Our Story", it won't be told here. We all get along fabulously now. In fact, as I write this, Adam's sister is spending the night. That is, his mother's daughter that is not Dave's daughter. (if you can wrap your brain around that one) I'll be the first to admit that in the beginning we all acted childishly. Dave, me, and Adam's mother. I'm ashamed of this now. Thank God, for Adam's sake, we all grew up a little.
We started trying to have a baby THE day we were married. Little did we know it would take three years and a fertility drug to do it! Finally, in 1995, we had Quinton! You can read all about him right Here! Not only was Quinton a joy in and of himself, he brought our family together in some ways. No matter what troubles we had, all three of us adored that boy. Quinton will never realize how desperately he was wanted and wished for. The first year of trying to have a baby I wasn't too worried, but as one became two and two became three, I thought about having a baby constantly. It was so terribly depressing. Not only did it seem like half the people I knew were expecting, but it seemed every female character on TV was pregnant too! I read everything I could about infertility, from testing to treatment. When I finally got the courage to go in and get checked out, turned out I had the best problem you can have if you're going to have fertility problems. All I needed was one cycle of clomid and presto!
We had little surprise in 1999. Carter was born on July 1st! You can read all about him right Here! I found out I was pregnant again in November of 1998. We had pretty much figured we were done having children after Quinton. Not because we didn't want another baby, but because of circumstances. It just didn't seem like everything would ever come together right to have another baby. It just didn't seem like a wise decision. I must say a heartfelt thanks to God for being wiser than us and deciding mom and dad didn't know best. Carter is one of the cutest, funniest, most daring little boys I've ever seen.
And now on to present day. Adam is almost 12, Quinton is almost 5, and Carter just turned 1. Dave and I are now 31 and 28. We just celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary. Time surely does fly! Wasn't it just yesterday that we were married?? Dave was recently laid off from his job at a meatpacking plant that he had held for 12 years. He's been going to school for 5-6 years. Majoring in computer programming. School has finally paid off for us. He's just gotten a job at Crescent Electric as a PC technician. Are you thinking what I was thinking? "Why does an Electrical Supply Company need a PC technician?" He actually provides in-house tech support for the people working at the business offices. We were thrilled and VERY relieved when he was offered the job. Dave has also been in the Iowa Army National Guard for 12 years. Can you say "hard worker"? That's my Dave! You can click Here to read a poem that really sums up the way I think of him.
As for me, I've done in-home daycare for 8 years now. I started doing it so that I could stay home with Adam and have kept doing it so that I can stay home with Quinton and Carter. I feel priveledged to be able to do this. I get to spend all the time in the world with my boys and still help, in a small way, to support my family. It's not really as hard as some people seem to think. It's never the kids that make daycare difficult, but sometimes irresponsible parents can. If you'd like to know what my days are like, go Here that covers it.
Well, I've jabbered on long enough now. Thanks for stopping by! Just one last thing. If any of you reading this were one of those people that thought Dave and I wouldn't last...I have some fitting song lyrics!
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