Why did the Vampire go to the doctor? Because he was "coffin". What do ghost eat for breakfast? Ghost Toasties and evaporated milk. What do ghost eat for lunch? Boo-loney sandwiches. What do ghost chew? Boo-ble gum. How many people can a ghoul eat on an empty stomach? One. After that it's stomach would not be empty. What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray. What do ghost wear on their feet in the rain? Ghoul-oshes. What did the ghost say about the mummy? It's all wrapped up in it's work. What kind of jewels does a ghoul wear? Tombstones. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? It didn't have the guts. Why do vampires brush their teeth? To prevent bat breath. Why do monsters make good football players? Because they always reach the ghoul line. What do monsters drink while watching the game? Ghoul-aid.